Man-Maker
by 0torno
Summary: Feanor is a very controlled individual, but he gets very nervous whenever his wife bears a child. Unfortunately, that means he gets very nervous 6 times.


Maedhros

Fëanor is beside himself. His shoulders shake with rough sobs that tear at his throat, ripping the flesh inside so that a trickle of blood makes its way down his chin. He holds her hand so tightly that it hurts, tightly in both his own trembling hands, before turning away to empty his stomach for the fifteenth time. He gasps for breath as though he has been running, but the ghastly pallor of his skin proves otherwise. His forehead is damp with sweat and his eyes are red with tears.

"I'm sorry," he chokes again and again. "I'm sorry, Nerdanel. Please, Eru, be alright. I'm sorry for doing this to you!" His voice is little more than a croak, ravaged by sour bile and hours of sobbing.

When she screams, he bends double and his stomach heaves, but he has already thrown up all its contents; so only clear acid and a little crimson splatter on the floor. He has not eaten for hours.

The midwife tries to convince him to leave, or maybe even seek medical attention. But Fëanor will not let go of his wife's hand, not even when his own is slippery with gore from wiping trails of blood and spittle from his lips. He pleads with Illúvatar and Nerdanel in turn - eyes mad - to forgive him.

He faints an hour before the little head, red hair damp, finally emerges. He does not see the baby until he is three hours old.

After it is over, Nerdanel jokes exhaustedly that Fëanor had a worse time birthing their first son than she did.

Maglor

Fëanor's eyes are shadowed with exhaustion; he has not slept in a week for the anxiety. He tries to comfort her at first, obstinately clenching his jaw and feigning calm, but he grips her hand so forcefully this time that she has to ask him to let go.

He sits sullenly at the edge of the room, pale as a ghost, for a good while before losing his composure. Then, he abruptly falls on hands and knees and sobs until he makes himself ill, much as when Nerdanel was in labor with Maedhros. He retches and covers the flagstones in his breakfast, trembling like a leaf in the wind. His skin is a peculiar shade of green.

The nurses are so concerned with Fëanor's sickness that they tend to him just long enough for Nerdanel to birth her second son by herself. When she finally yells, annoyed, "The baby is here! Pay some attention, please!" Fëanor jumps up and practically throws himself at the child.

Maglor, Fëanor holds before the midwife. Then he orders that the nurses who tended to him instead of his wife be put to death, but in the end a horrified toddler Maedhros convinces him just to fire them.

Celegorm

When she goes into labour with their third son, Fëanor is determined to maintain his composure. Fingolfin gifts him a bottle of the finest wine from the gardens of Lórien as an early congratulations gift, but warns Fëanor that it is potent. He promises, laughing, to share it with Nerdanel and not drink it all in one night.

He ends up swigging straight from the bottle, eyes wild as he struggles not to panic.

He drinks it all and then ends up much in the same way as during the births of Meadhros and Maglor; sitting in a pool of his own vomit, apologizing and begging for forgiveness (though his usually-sharp voice is now slurred with drink).

The midwife will not let the toddling Maglor and quiet, dignified Maedhros in to meet their new brother until the floor is cleaned.

Caranthir

Almost used to the pain of childbirth, Nerdanel takes things in stride so much that she is actually more worried about Fëanor than herself. He is the most collected individual she has ever seen, but whenever she bears him a son he loses all poise.

This time, his nervous energy expresses itself in anger. Maedhros, now almost past his majority, holds his mother's hand and comforts her instead of his wrathful father.

"Watch where you're putting that!" Fëanor bellows at the harried midwife. "You will be lucky if I don't have you killed for this disgusting display of clumsiness!" Nerdanel notes that although he often speaks of putting people to death at these times, he never does it.

"Atar, calm down! What is the matter with you?"

"Fëanor," Nerdanel says weakly. "Maedhros is right; she is doing a fine job. Leave her in peace."

"'Leave her in peace'?! Eru damn you to the eternal darkness, Nerdanel, she'll see you dead! How dare you contradict me in this way! I hope you hurt badly for this insolence!" His teeth are bared in a feral grimace, his heart pounds and his blood is as fire in his veins. "You foolish woman, you disrespect me for the last time!" he roars, grabbing a vase of water. He hurls it against the wall and it smashes, sending shards of pottery and a wave of clear water all over the room.

He starts towards Nerdanel, but Maedhros pulls him away and holds him until he calms down.

The first sound this baby hears is the song his brother Maglor composed for him.

Fëanor, of course, apologizes later. Nerdanel is just glad that he didn't throw up.

Curufin

By the time his fifth son is being born, Fëanor is almost able to handle it. Again white-faced, he switches between pacing back and forth across the room in fits of manic energy and sitting exhaustedly in a chair, barely conscious. Maedhros checks in frequently, bringing his parents water and support. Maglor sits for awhile and plays his harp, and then leaves in a huff because he cannot concentrate with Fëanor's pacing.

After that Celegorm and Caranthir attempt to entertain their mother with a fight scene they designed, but it goes awry when Celegorm accidentally punches his younger brother. Maedhros rebukes them and sends them away, and in the excitement no one appreciates that Fëanor has neither exploded in anger nor broken down emotionally nor become ill.

He does not cry until he holds the child in his arms.

Amrod and Amras

During Nerdanel's final labour Fëanor remains stoic. He maintains a dignified silence throughout the affair, though his eldest sons eye him nervously.

When the midwife delivers the news there are to be twins, Fëanor's eyes flash dangerously and Maedhros puts a restraining hand on his father's shoulder. But Fëanor just sighs, muttering, "As if six sons would not have been enough."

Nerdanel laughs.

After that the babies are born in quick succession and Fëanor sags with relief.

"Eru, Nerdanel," he says, raising a shaky hand to his eyes. "We are never doing this again."

For once, they agree without any argument.


End file.
